The Time My Car Caught on Fire (aka: When Beth Moore Prayed For Me)
In October of 2022, I was about as low as I’ve ever been. Chris (my childhood best friend since we were 6) had died unexpectedly in June and I had been dumped over text. I was having a crisis of career & calling, trying to see clients, and finish year two of my doctoral program. It was a real party in my house and in my head. The drunk monkeys in my brain were working overtime. My favorite pastime was ruminating. I thought if I ruminated enough then I might not have to accept how powerless and lost I felt. No one was coming to rescue me. This was a face-to-face slug fest with God. I guess it’s important to note that I was the only one slugging.
I had amazing friends who walked with me, but they couldn’t walk it all with me. No one could do the work of healing between me and God. There are significant parts of the road we are asked to walk alone.
During this time, I was on a zoom with my counselor and he prayed Isaiah 43 over me. “When you walk through the fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you.” We hung up the call and I got in my car to run an errand, and I kid you not, my car caught on fire. I’m driving down Broadway when smoke and flames start shooting through the crack in my hood. Somewhere from the bowels of hell I hear music and of course it’s Adele, “Set Fire to the Rain.” Jesus, take the wheel. I pulled over into a rescue mission parking lot and waited on the firetruck.
My one hope to save the day was that maybe this would turn out like a Hallmark movie and the fireman would be my lost love that I hadn’t seen since pre-school, but alas, that is not who showed up. Who showed up instead was Wallace. Wallace couldn’t stop laughing after the fire was put out. He sauntered over to me and said, “I’ve never seen that many leaves under a hood before” The long pause after it indicated he wanted to say, “Idiot.”
I drove home (luckily my car was okay) and remembered that Beth Moore’s ministry, Living Proof, had a prayer hour every Tuesday from 12 PM - 1 PM. I thought, “What the heck?” I looked up the number on instagram and called. A nice lady answered and explained that a staff member would pray with me for about 10 minutes and that it would be confidential. Here’s the following dialogue:
Nice lady: Please hold.
Me: Ok.
Long pause.
Long pause.
Long pause.
Nice lady: So sorry about your wait. She will be with you in just another minute.
And dear internet reader, I just knew. I knew without a shadow of a doubt what was about to happen.
A little background about me and my best friend Beth Moore. When I was 24 I was home raising support to go on staff with Cru and healing from a broken engagement. My church offered a bible study by this new bible teacher named Beth Moore. I was forever hooked on Scripture from that day forward. I did every study and learned more about the love and grace of God. Through Beth’s studies she walked me through broken relationships, entering into vocational ministry, first round of depression, second round of depression, learning to disciple women, learning to lead a team, learning to serve overseas in hard conditions, learning how to be faithful in the little and in the big, learning about healing from past family wounds, and the list goes on. Okay, back to the story.
Someone other than the nice lady gets on the line: Hi, Beth. This is Beth Moore.
Me: (laughs hysterically) I wanted to say, “You’re shitting me, right?” But I did not. At least one of the Beth’s on the phone was a classy lady.
I spin around in my desk chair and start talking as fast as I can because all I can think is, “I have ten minutes.” Keep in mind, at the beginning of every year, I make a list of dreams I pray over I don’t share with anyone. One of the dreams was, “Can I have lunch with Beth Moore?” Here we were over the lunch hour and I was beside myself laughing and crying. I knew what was about to happen would be special.
Me: How are you??? (laughing and crying)
B Mo (my rap name for Beth Moore): I don’t even remember what she said. I’m sorry.
Here’s the gist. We shared about our journeys of becoming Anglican. We both went to our first Anglican service on the exact same Sunday - the first Sunday of Adventi 2021 (or maybe it was the week before). I then began to give her some of my background and said I knew we just had a few minutes and she said, and this still makes me choke up as someone who struggles at times to take up space in a conversation, “You tell me everything. I am here and want to hear every bit of it.” I shared about the year, the losses, the questioning everything that had once felt sure. She said to me, “Beth, it is very clear to me that you are about to land in what is the very reason why you were put on this earth. This is about pure endurance. Endure! Do not give up.”
What she didn’t know was that Fred (my counselor) and I had been talking about wondering in the wildnerness and she said, “Jesus will lead you out of the wilderness into a new anointing. New territory. You must say ‘no’ to the enemy. When you doubt, speak out loud about God’s faithfulness. The Lord will only let the enemy go so far before he says, ‘ENOUGH!’” She then proceeded to talk to me about love, loss and grief that I want to keep private. You want to know another gift? She had heard about Chris. Her worship leader, Travis Cottrell is really close to Kelly, Chris’s sister. What a gift that I didn’t have to explain who he was and his impact.
God knew that there were some things that I could only hear in a way that I needed to hear through the mouth of a woman who had changed my life, Beth Moore. He knows what we need. I couldnt have orchestrated that encounter if I had tried. I think that’s what made it special. In my powerlessness He showed up in a way that I, Beth Wayland, needed. I’d like to say things have gotten easier, but in many ways they have been just as hard but my heart has changed. I’m not fighting Him as much and remembering her word: endure. I hope somehow this story, which is so unique to me, will find itself being quite universal in a way that encourages you to endure as well. Much love to you all.
-The cussing Beth
